You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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