How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize