worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
