problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
