If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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