trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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