so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
