Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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