Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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