she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
