At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
