Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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