Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
