Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
