I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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