youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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