Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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