Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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