I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
