forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I take back everything I said about communal showers
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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