I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
