I'm drive I can fine osifer
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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