it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
