Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
