grandma shit on top of the toilet
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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