Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
