Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
