I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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