were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
