all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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