Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
