exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
