yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
