Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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