After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
