I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
