Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I would ride that face into the sunset
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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