So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
