I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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