she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize