My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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