so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
