idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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