note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
