but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
