He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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