Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Four minutes until I can fart!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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