I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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