come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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