i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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