he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
