i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
