Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
