it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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