There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
