I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
