so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
