We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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