i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
