i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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