There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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