was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
