Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
