I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
oh god was she eating orange peels again
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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