drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
