ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
