Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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