Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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