i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
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